bklyn nyc

almost two months have passed since i arrived home. all the holidays passing in a whirlwind, the uncertainties and fears and excitements of facing old faces, the forgotten vastness of this city that i could spend my whole life walking and wondering about, the madness and confusion and intensity of american politics up close, the uncertainty of weather with t-shirts one day and long underwear the next, the necessary dreariness of a 9 to 5 and being caught up in the confines of a world of desks, files and artificial light, all a mess in my head.

only a few days until i leave it again, fly off to london and morocco, almost in spite of myself again traveling when part of me wants to sit here with this and sort it all out. who are these people? what are these places? having lived here almost my whole life it feels somehow silly to be faced with all these questions. don't i know my own home? don't i know my own friends?

but then i cannot help but take this opportunity, run off to unknown places while i still can, even if it means taking chances with things being the same when i come home again. this is the time, to be crazy and unstable and confused and unbalanced--i will live to achieve security and stability another day.